In the past year
I started & finished my second year of college
Started having my photo shoots styled locally
Created a blog
Started building a portfolio
Got published on the Tiffany &Co website
Bought a $2500 lens
Shot my 1st NHL game
Assisted in Miami
Met designers
Had conversations with the best of the best
Perfected my CV
Worked day after day on my portfolio
Emailed everyone in the world for internships
Landed one
Cried a lot
Laughed a lot
Partied a lot
Stressed a lot
Made new friends
Lost touch with old ones
Traveled to a lot of new places
Met some amazing strangers
Experienced things I never thought I would
Realized my parents are my best friends
Loved
Lost
Appreciated
Montreal
Approached and worked with agency models
Shot a casting for an upcoming campaign
Made amazing friends
Took the subway for the first time
Realized music heals all my problems
Realized I have no problems
Cried when I saw my photo on Vogues website
Cried again when I saw it the next time
Came to peace with everything happens for a reason
Missed, a lot
Kept my head up through everything
Networked
Danced
Took chances
Hoped for the best
I started writing this for me only, a list of things I've accomplished in the past year. Just to see it all laid out here in words rather then trying to make a timeline in my head.
I'm a big "list" person.
When someone asks you every day, how was your day, what'd you do today. It doesn't seem like anything, same thing, different day. Then a year later you write it all down and it's like whaaaaaaat. Did this all really happen, to me?
Once and a while I would get emails saying people loved the latest photos, or a certain shoot or look. Then later on, lately, in the past few months, I have been getting emails and messages from people I don't even know saying that I am inspiring them, to really follow what they never thought they could do. Asking advice on the next step they should take, what they're working on, etc. Asking questions about education, experience and my opinions on certain concepts.
Seriously, hearing that I am inspiring other people makes me
SO happy. If that's all I succeed in, I'll be happy. Inspiring someone else means so much to me because I am inspired by SO MANY PEOPLE. So for me to be
that person for someone else, I have it all. I have so many role models in my life, I never even thought about actually being one myself. It feels like a little bit of pressure because in my own reality, I don't even know what I am doing right now. I am winging this entire experience, hoping things will fall into place with as little bumps as possible along the way. I was texting my friend the other day saying how I wasn't sure what would happen work/school/career wise at the end of this summer, his reply was "Yaa but that's faith" ---so simple. Blew my mind that he could just say that without explaining further. But he's right. Something's going to happen either way, so roll with it and it will all work out, you know. I'm just rambling, just trying to organize thoughts.
Another thing I want to touch on is happiness. "Money doesn't buy happiness" OK we know this. We think we know this. We say we know this. But given the choice, I am wondering how many people really would chose happiness over money. Lately I've come to realize I was a lot smarter then I thought I was. When you are faced with a situation, a really really hard one, where everything looks great on the outside but just beneath the surface is a whole lot of deterioration. You ignore it for a while, hope it will change. Back to the way it used to be. Then, it starts to be
normal, and acceptable. No. It's already gone too far. Money is so good, and so so bad. My Irish roommate, Ruth, quotes everyday, "More money than sense" when referring to individuals she knows that aren't very smart, but have a lot of money. I laughed at first then clicked, hey I know people like that too. Then thought further, they think they're
happy. It wasn't until I let go of some things and some people in my life that made me open my eyes and say "THIS is happiness" Me, happy, is being surrounded by my friends, laughing my face off telling stories about the stupid things we've done in the past, listening to music in the middle of a field with a camera in my hand. NOT driving around in nice cars, eating at expensive places, meeting important people. What the heck was I thinking before. It's totally "the little things" as cliché as it sounds, fighting with someone every other day, being stressed out and annoyed by someone else's actions, letting someone else directly influence your day, someone you're
choosing to have in your life because you
think they make it better!?!? HELLO wake up.
Experience is knowledge. Good experience, or bad experience.So take from it. I know from the past few years exactly what I want, but I learned exactly what I
don't want, too. My dad told me a few months ago. "It will hurt you every day, until you let go. Then it will hurt for a while and be done." That's it. SO SIMPLE.
And true. If the people you surround yourself with don't inspire you. Get them outta here. Your friends, family, your relationships are supposed to make you better. Not miserable.
As much as I am "sure" of who I am, I might look like I do. lol but we all have insecurities. I am such a big quotes person too. Lists, quotes, songs, lyrics. Love those.
But this quote I love.
"In order for two halves to be whole, each half must be a whole on its own"
Love this ^
B. U.
Do. U.
Be independent and
never leave YOUR happiness in someone else's hands.
I seriously want to be a motivational speaker sometime, I just have so much to say.
On a lighter note---
Anonymous asked:
What's your favourite photo you've taken & why?
My favourite photo I've taken was one of the ones that was printed for my gallery opening, of Janna
I just love it. I don't genuinely
love any of my photos. This one I just really do. xx
This was originally a journal entry, but I thought I'd take a chance and post it on here. Scary. enjoy xox
