I'll be real. This isn't an easy one to write. I live my life pretty publicly and wouldn't change it for the world. It's amazing to have such support. It means sharing awesome things and experiences, but it also means sharing the really, really shitty ones too. This next month was supposed to bring a lot of changes, new things and a big move to Alberta. I quit my job and I can't deny that I was over the moon excited about this and have been working towards this for a while now. Long story short, life happened. This is no longer my route. I'm sad, angry and a little bit lost right now, but also can't help but look at the positives. I need to keep in mind that I'm only 22. Sometimes you have to let people go and focus on yourself. This part drives me more then anything. I believe in loyalty and staying loyal to yourself when things get tough. So I'm putting myself first and taking the reins even more then before. I remember falling asleep a few weeks ago, so excited for what was happening recently, and feeling so lucky that I had my life together, feeling nothing but positivity and happiness. But, it comes in waves. Just like that, things can change. You have to take a minute, bawl your face off, bounce back & regroup. Independence isn't something I'll give up easily and it's scary to know someone who cared so deeply for you, can flip a switch in no time at all. When someone shows you their true colours, believe them the first time. I feel good to have such a strong, solid life, friends and family. These are the people with unconditional love, keep em close, they're here to stay.
I'll also admit it sucks to have made a huge announcement and have it backfire beyond my control. So hopefully this spreads like wildfire like the original moving post did. Good news is -I'll be in Saint John for a little while longer while I figure out my next move. All of the shoots I wasn't able to book in the fall, I am now able to do, and all the family I was about to be missing, I am so happy to be around, and the momentum with this working life, lets keep it moving.
xx
Allie
